![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
» 015 ; see you as you are now
Upon waking from my nap last night, I received a call from one of my friends. He invited me and my sister to join him and a few others at a bar just walking distance from our place. Even if it's a school night for Nat, I told her to come along and we both made our way there.
It was nice seeing him again as well as the others who were around. I don't really hang out with them all that often and I go to bars even less so it was kind of a double whammy, I suppose. I don't think my mom was too happy with the idea, leaving without really telling her or pop but hey, neither of them was home and I at least informed the maids of our whereabouts. And I texted her. Not my fault she doesn't check her phone. Pop seemed to be okay with it when I texted him too just so he knew.
Anyways, we all hung out, shared stories, had food. Good times. But there was something I noticed while hanging out with everyone again after so long. I think, despite all of them being pretty much the same people I knew in grade school, high school and a bit of college, they've all actually matured to a certain extent. It's as if they've actually reached their adult stage and maturity. I, on the other hand, seem to be stuck in late high school to early college stage. It's not because they have finished college while I'm still stuck moaning and groaning about it though. And it's not that I mind how I am in the very least though. In fact, I can honestly say I love how I am right now. My personality, my looks, whatever little knowledge I claim I may have, I'm cool with it.
I guess I'm bringing this up because these friends of mine all feel leagues away at certain times. They're all working to a certain extent, they're all in relationships, that kind of thing. And then you look at me. I'd like to think I'm social enough. I love talking to people and making new friends but there are a few social norms that I forgo because of some choices I've made for myself.
Take relationships for example. I actually have a really close friend who many people ask whether were together... our reaction to anytime that question is brought up? We snort. Why? Because neither of us see each other that way. We're just really close. For me, I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm just not interested in finding someone that I want to be with in the future, not yet. I like where I am. I like being single. Being in a relationship, being with someone requires a certain amount of responsibility and maturity to make it work well. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I do not believe that I am that responsible or mature yet, whether it be psychologically, mentally, emotionally or financially. When I do end up with someone, I just want to do it right as much as I possibly can. Sure I think I'll find someone eventually but until then, I'll just enjoy where I am. I suppose it also helps that I'm a firm believer of "if it will happen, then it will happen", as well as "live in the moment". Also I promised myself that I wouldn't really think about relationships until I've at least finished college. I do have crushes on people every once in a while... more like once in a blue moon (the last one was ages ago), but nothing more than that.
Another thing was how Mike, the friend who invited me, kept coercing me to drink. I don't drink at all. This is a choice I've made for myself since high school. They keep telling me I should but I don't think I'm missing out on much. I don't want to regret things in the morning. If it's any consolation to them, at least they could get wasted and they'll always have a designated driver, right? He said he'll probably see me actually intake alcohol only when I get married. Who knows. Maybe he's right.
And the smoke. Oh god, the smoke. As I said on my plurk last night, I love my friends but I hate their smoking habits. God, I could smell the smoke on me on the way home. Another thing that I am never going to do, tyvm. Honestly, the smoke had nothing to do with where I was going. It just bothered me a bit last night. XD
With all their habits and their experiences, they may seem leagues away... Thing is, I don't really mind. I like taking it easy, I like where I am. I don't know what I want to do when I finally finish college at the end of the year and I doubt I'll pursue a career in computer tech or programming but I'm okay with that. I'm not thinking about a relationship or vices or the future too seriously and that's fine by me. I don't like the idea of comparing myself with other people because in the end, I'm not them. They get to live their life and I get to live my own. I get to stumble along with my decisions and they get to stumble along with theirs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is life is one hell of a ride and it's different for everyone.
It was nice seeing him again as well as the others who were around. I don't really hang out with them all that often and I go to bars even less so it was kind of a double whammy, I suppose. I don't think my mom was too happy with the idea, leaving without really telling her or pop but hey, neither of them was home and I at least informed the maids of our whereabouts. And I texted her. Not my fault she doesn't check her phone. Pop seemed to be okay with it when I texted him too just so he knew.
Anyways, we all hung out, shared stories, had food. Good times. But there was something I noticed while hanging out with everyone again after so long. I think, despite all of them being pretty much the same people I knew in grade school, high school and a bit of college, they've all actually matured to a certain extent. It's as if they've actually reached their adult stage and maturity. I, on the other hand, seem to be stuck in late high school to early college stage. It's not because they have finished college while I'm still stuck moaning and groaning about it though. And it's not that I mind how I am in the very least though. In fact, I can honestly say I love how I am right now. My personality, my looks, whatever little knowledge I claim I may have, I'm cool with it.
I guess I'm bringing this up because these friends of mine all feel leagues away at certain times. They're all working to a certain extent, they're all in relationships, that kind of thing. And then you look at me. I'd like to think I'm social enough. I love talking to people and making new friends but there are a few social norms that I forgo because of some choices I've made for myself.
Take relationships for example. I actually have a really close friend who many people ask whether were together... our reaction to anytime that question is brought up? We snort. Why? Because neither of us see each other that way. We're just really close. For me, I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm just not interested in finding someone that I want to be with in the future, not yet. I like where I am. I like being single. Being in a relationship, being with someone requires a certain amount of responsibility and maturity to make it work well. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I do not believe that I am that responsible or mature yet, whether it be psychologically, mentally, emotionally or financially. When I do end up with someone, I just want to do it right as much as I possibly can. Sure I think I'll find someone eventually but until then, I'll just enjoy where I am. I suppose it also helps that I'm a firm believer of "if it will happen, then it will happen", as well as "live in the moment". Also I promised myself that I wouldn't really think about relationships until I've at least finished college. I do have crushes on people every once in a while... more like once in a blue moon (the last one was ages ago), but nothing more than that.
Another thing was how Mike, the friend who invited me, kept coercing me to drink. I don't drink at all. This is a choice I've made for myself since high school. They keep telling me I should but I don't think I'm missing out on much. I don't want to regret things in the morning. If it's any consolation to them, at least they could get wasted and they'll always have a designated driver, right? He said he'll probably see me actually intake alcohol only when I get married. Who knows. Maybe he's right.
And the smoke. Oh god, the smoke. As I said on my plurk last night, I love my friends but I hate their smoking habits. God, I could smell the smoke on me on the way home. Another thing that I am never going to do, tyvm. Honestly, the smoke had nothing to do with where I was going. It just bothered me a bit last night. XD
With all their habits and their experiences, they may seem leagues away... Thing is, I don't really mind. I like taking it easy, I like where I am. I don't know what I want to do when I finally finish college at the end of the year and I doubt I'll pursue a career in computer tech or programming but I'm okay with that. I'm not thinking about a relationship or vices or the future too seriously and that's fine by me. I don't like the idea of comparing myself with other people because in the end, I'm not them. They get to live their life and I get to live my own. I get to stumble along with my decisions and they get to stumble along with theirs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is life is one hell of a ride and it's different for everyone.