riyuji | » 010; nothing left to do but wait

So I've noticed that I've gotten this weird habit going on where I can't tag unless there's complete silence. Or if I'm only listening to one thing over and over. Right now for example, my sister is in my room using my PS3 to watch Newsroom. Me on the other hand? I'm just staring down my tags. I can't even tag with music playing anymore. Or when I do have music on, it has to be an instrumental song. Otherwise it just has to be absolutely quiet.

I honestly don't know when this habit began but it's been going on for a while now. I can never concentrate or be comfortable with tagging when there's too much noise around. I think this also contributes to why I'm no longer a semi-decent tagger when it comes to speed. I used to be fast enough... but I can't seem to fall into that same state of mind as I used to.

For one reason or another, my attention is divided by all the other noises. This is why I don't tag in school anymore. When I somehow manage to get past the noise, my tagging remains sparse.

Because of the noise that bothers me, my motivation has been lacking. Almost non-existent. I feel flaky. I think my tags are crap and aren't up to par to those who I'm tagging with. I didn't have a problem like that before. A few cases of NERVES maybe but it's been a lot more prevalent since the noise problem surfaced. My characters voices seem shaky and I'm no longer sure if I've been tagging things correctly.

I don't like it. I really don't.

Sometimes I just really wish I could be an okay roleplayer again. I just got to get my act straight again and be able to concentrate and focus despite the noises. Maybe then I wouldn't suck as much.

On another note, I've been trying to write more. I'm trying to do the 30 day challenge that was going around tumblr. It's already August 4 and I have been failing to even get started. XD But I will play catch up and do this. Definitely.

If anyone's interested (BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT), I've got the master post here and I will be updating that with links as I get the fics up. Alternatively, you could subscribe to my writing journal but then again, why would you? |D

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WHAT IS THIS 30 DAY CHALLENGE AND CAN I DO IT WITH YOU--oh hello link. Note to self: finish reading the damn post before you start commenting. Good job.

As for the flaky roleplayer feeling...I don't think your tags have been that bad? Admittedly, I also haven't tagged with you all too much, and I'm not overly familiar with the majority of your characters, but they've all sounded fine to me. And you definitely don't suck. >:| I wish I had some advice to give, but different people have different habits and preferences when it comes to RP.

Are there any quiet places you can go to tag? I would say your room but if your sister's there....

Either way, I hope you manage to find some sort of solution, whether it be temporary or more long-term. :c But in the meantime, good luck with the writing stuff! /quietly subscribes to writing journal.

LMAO VAL. If I didn't put it up in the entry, I would've linked you anyway.

I think it's more the I've been taking too long with some threads feeling that's making me feel flaky. Even time sensitive ones aren't getting as much attention as they should. But thanks for the reassurance. The second-guessing start to get tiring but hearing that I'm probably not as bad as I think is good. I was even telling Linana yesterday that we're our own worst critics. This is definitely a case of that. |D

Uh, no, there's no other place to tag right now. We've got guests from abroad over so my room's my only solace. Though I was kidding my sister that I should lock myself in the bathroom so I can tag. XD

AAAH I NEED TO CATCH UP SOON /quietly stares at the subscription

That makes sense. And yeah, I definitely understand the self-critic thing. I constantly put myself down for not being as good as so-and-so or as I should be or something like that. Which is ridiculous, because if I were really as bad as I make myself out to be, people wouldn't plot/tag with me. SO.

And yes, that is your cue to start writing. c: I will try and start writing things with you too!

/don't mind this journal I'm too lazy to log out

Well, you shouldn't put yourself down either! You're pretty amazing from what I've seen, even if we haven't played with each other too much yet.

I will definitely start tomorrow/when I get up. My eyes refuse to stay open any longer. XD Show me what you come up with too, okay?

/loves on the amusing username

Definitely will do! Sleep well, Mart! ♥

Earplugs? Obviously not while you're at school, but when you're home. Just stick 'em in and pretend that you're far far away from everything...

You've done a great job with the NPCs. I don't think we've threaded in a while, so I can't really comment on your characters, but everything has been pretty fab with the NPCs.

Maybe a break is in order. Take a step back and possibly rewatch/play/read some of the canons you play from, just to remind yourself why you're doing what you do.

But I don't think you suck at all. ♥

...Maybe I should invest in a pair. I'll look into this.

Amusingly, that's the only tagging I've been able to do since Dick's post went up. And both Lae and I are usually bad with NPCs! I'm glad that you think I'm at least okay with the NPCS. (Also we need to tag more)

Ahaha, I discussed this with Lae recently too. I kinda don't want to hiatus considering I used that up last month. I might kinda canon review on the side, especially for Rise and Beat. Those two are the characters I really don't want to wind up dropping.

Thank you. ♥

Nice ones tend to mute out all outside noise and makes it feel like you're in a bubble, but don't feel awkward and painful in your ear. |D I had to wear them when I went shooting.

(Yes! We do need to tag more ♥ do want Mart CR) I think this period seems to be where everyone's motivations drop, in general. I've heard a lot of people say that they just don't want to do tags, and a lot of people who are usually really speedy are slowing down. So it could just be timing.

c: Canon reviewing is always nice. Whenever I actually get off my butt and do it, it reminds me of why I app'd the character in the first place. And that usually gives me a bit more motivation to do good by the character.

My ears are kinda weird tbh, like... things can't stay in them. That's why I hate earbuds. XD But yeah, I'll definitely look into those when I head to the mall on Monday! Otherwise, I'll get my dad's earmuffs.

(I will give Mei all the CR because I want Mei CR too ♥) It's been happening for a while though, at least for me. I just hope it doesn't stick around for much longer because I really want to do my tags... but my motivation isn't present. Does that even make sense?

I'm not sure when I'll have time to actually replay both games. I clocked 99 hours on Persona 4 before so it might be a while for that and I'm sure I clocked at least 25-30 hours for The World Ends with You. Good thing I have most of Rise's social link script typed up, and all of the TWEWY script printed out! XD

The ones I was given mold to fit your ear... they were kind of awesome.

That makes sense! I've had those days. >: Where I'm just sitting there staring at my inbox thinking, "write yourselves so I can sit here and read all this wonderful stuff without having to do any work" ...

>: That's why I don't play game characters... because it's too much work to actually reply games...

Oh that does sound kinda awesome.

Aaah, it's exactly this! I want so many things to happen but I don't want to effort. lmao.

B-but I love games. >:

It's soooo hard to make the effort sometimes... especially when you keep putting off making the effort but your inbox keeps piling up and then it gets to a point where you're just staring at it and going omg omg so many things dlfkajwelkthawte. (And yes, that was all one huge sentence and should be read with one breath.) But yeah. Usually those times pass for me? Especially if I kind of push myself to do tags sometimes. Hopefully they pass for you too ._.

I'm... bad at playing games. I need walkthroughs to help me. And even then half the time I end up walking around in large circles... ._.;

Also that was 'replay' games... not reply... *cries* .... today is Mei-mixes-up-her-words day.

Effort needs to start popping up magically. And inboxes need to stop growing without out permission. But yes that's exactly how I feel. I just need to push myself harder I suppose.

/pats. I have a very big ego when it comes to playing games... That's why I can play it over and over most of the time.

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