» 010; nothing left to do but wait

[riyuji]

So I've noticed that I've gotten this weird habit going on where I can't tag unless there's complete silence. Or if I'm only listening to one thing over and over. Right now for example, my sister is in my room using my PS3 to watch Newsroom. Me on the other hand? I'm just staring down my tags. I can't even tag with music playing anymore. Or when I do have music on, it has to be an instrumental song. Otherwise it just has to be absolutely quiet.

I honestly don't know when this habit began but it's been going on for a while now. I can never concentrate or be comfortable with tagging when there's too much noise around. I think this also contributes to why I'm no longer a semi-decent tagger when it comes to speed. I used to be fast enough... but I can't seem to fall into that same state of mind as I used to.

For one reason or another, my attention is divided by all the other noises. This is why I don't tag in school anymore. When I somehow manage to get past the noise, my tagging remains sparse.

Because of the noise that bothers me, my motivation has been lacking. Almost non-existent. I feel flaky. I think my tags are crap and aren't up to par to those who I'm tagging with. I didn't have a problem like that before. A few cases of NERVES maybe but it's been a lot more prevalent since the noise problem surfaced. My characters voices seem shaky and I'm no longer sure if I've been tagging things correctly.

I don't like it. I really don't.

Sometimes I just really wish I could be an okay roleplayer again. I just got to get my act straight again and be able to concentrate and focus despite the noises. Maybe then I wouldn't suck as much.

On another note, I've been trying to write more. I'm trying to do the 30 day challenge that was going around tumblr. It's already August 4 and I have been failing to even get started. XD But I will play catch up and do this. Definitely.

If anyone's interested (BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT), I've got the master post here and I will be updating that with links as I get the fics up. Alternatively, you could subscribe to my writing journal but then again, why would you? |D

Comments

[riyuji]

Oh that does sound kinda awesome.

Aaah, it's exactly this! I want so many things to happen but I don't want to effort. lmao.

B-but I love games. >:

[ritornello]

It's soooo hard to make the effort sometimes... especially when you keep putting off making the effort but your inbox keeps piling up and then it gets to a point where you're just staring at it and going omg omg so many things dlfkajwelkthawte. (And yes, that was all one huge sentence and should be read with one breath.) But yeah. Usually those times pass for me? Especially if I kind of push myself to do tags sometimes. Hopefully they pass for you too ._.


I'm... bad at playing games. I need walkthroughs to help me. And even then half the time I end up walking around in large circles... ._.;

Also that was 'replay' games... not reply... *cries* .... today is Mei-mixes-up-her-words day.

[riyuji]

Effort needs to start popping up magically. And inboxes need to stop growing without out permission. But yes that's exactly how I feel. I just need to push myself harder I suppose.

/pats. I have a very big ego when it comes to playing games... That's why I can play it over and over most of the time.