» 018; mosts nights I don't know anymore

[riyuji]

I'm pathetic.

I don't usually think this and I'm usually happy with how I am but right now... Right now I just feel like I'm a thorn at everyone's side. Especially to my parents. I'm a waste of time, money and effort even if they say I'm not. And I'm not going to amount to much.

They don't need to tell me that. No one needs to tell me that. I tell me that.

I'll probably feel less like crap tomorrow but I'm sure the bitterness will linger.

Comments

[ritornello]

You are not any of those things. I don't think your parents think you are, either.

I've really loved getting to know you. I think you're an absolutely amazing person. You're someone I'd love to be more like, and also someone that I really want to be better friends with. I have a lot of fun talking to you, both in mod plurks and on AIM. (And it's usually hard for me to keep conversations up on AIM, but I feel like I do a pretty good job with you, because you're always so friendly and easy to talk to.)

Just because some things don't work out doesn't mean that nothing ever will. I have to tell myself this every day, because I currently hate who I am and my parents constantly tell me how I'm a waste of money. But I wholeheartedly believe that you are none of those things. You're not a waste of anything. This is a setback, and it feels really really bad, but this doesn't mean that you're not going to amount to much. It doesn't say anything about your character, or how intelligent you are, or how much you're worth.

Keep walking forward, and keep telling yourself that you're amazing, because it's 100% true.

[lyricized]

So I think I got here a little late, but I agree with what Mei was saying up there. I know some things suck and setbacks make you feel like crap, but that doesn't make you a failure. You're smart and friendly and quickly became one of my closer friends on the internet - and I really do believe that you'll amount to something one day. You yourself may not know it yet; but I know you will.

These sorts of thoughts happen to the best of us, and I honestly hope you feel better soon.